Two weeks from the accident...

Today marks the two week mark from the day that changed my entire life. The thought of it being only two weeks ago frightens me, it feels like it has been a lifetime.

I last left off shortly before my Friday physiotherapy. Friday ended up being a very bad day. I was tired and weak all day long. All I wanted to do was sleep. I got to physiotherapy and felt too tired to function. I tried so hard to do everything they asked, but the pain kicked in quickly. My muscles were sore, my body wouldn't cooperate. I was getting so frustrated every second that passed. We ended up cutting that session short.

I left physiotherapy in my chair, and did my first ever ALL BY MYSELF trip to the cafeteria. I bought a chicken quesadilla, a shrimp noodle salad and a v8. I had planned to sit at a table and enjoy myself, but as I was wheeling myself to a table, I felt my bladder relieve itself. There was no way I was sitting to eat in my own urine. So back up to my room to get changed and eat in bed I went.

The rest of Friday was fairly unpleasant as well. My bowels began to ache, the last time I had made a bowel movement was Tuesday night when they gave me an enema. They wouldn't give me an enema, but suggested a suppository. Which did nothing. I felt that if i could JUST get to a toilet, that I would feel comfortable enough to go. That and gravity would help.. The nurses could not get me to a toilet. I am on an air mattress, so a slider board isn't going to work. The lift doesn't have an open bottom. They told me my only chance was to go in a bed pan. Unfortunately the bed pan is so uncomfortable, I couldn't make it come. So Friday evening/night was terrible really. All I wanted to do was poo.

Saturday came, I spent the entire day in bed. To start, I was waiting for my Mom to come, to find out in the early afternoon that was not her intentions at all. I had requested she kept Ethan home for the day, so she assumed I meant her as well. My sister had made other plans so she was unable to watch Ethan. I was pretty upset. I felt very alone. I let a lot of things get me down that I should not have. Luckily, I woke from a nap, and my Mom was there. she had her friend come over with her kids for a play date so my Mom could come see me. Shortly after I awoke, my Grandparents showed up for a visit. It was great seeing them. My Aunt showed up as well, she gave me a little pedicure and painted my toes up all pretty. It was definitely a good visit.

Then evening came.. It came with another enema. I will never be able to express my hatred for enemas. They hurt. I have hyper sensitivity in not only my right leg, but my butt as well. Every little toot feels like a bomb going off. So you could probably imagine how an enema feels. I was up almost all night, every 20-40 minutes more came out, which was more pain, excruciating pain. By morning I was pretty much empty, thank flipping God.

That brings us to today. I had a great day today.
I woke up feeling relieved. I ate breakfast and went straight back to sleep. I woke up to my Mom and Ethan sitting beside me. The nurse was ready to put me in my wheelchair. I got to go down to the cafeteria and had a few fries before starting to feel a bit dizzy. My Dad and Sherri showed up, and with them, they brought me a whole load of goodies. Fresh cherries, dragon fruit  grapes, avocado. All my favourites... AND A BIG LOAD OF DIM SUM. I was stoked. I pigged riiight out.

Then Ethan decided it was nap time. My Dad laid him down beside me, and I fell asleep as well. We had a nice long nap together, it was one of the best naps of my entire life. Naps with Ethan are always the best. To have him snuggled up next to me is the greatest feeling in the entire world. We woke up and unfortunately it was time for everyone to go. My Mom and sister took Ethan to k-days (I know the name has changed, I still and always will call it that) to go on a few rides and what not. It was his very first time at a fair. As selfish as it sounds, I was/am very upset that I could not be there. I wanted to take him to his first fair.

That brings us to now. I am laying here in my room, with a crap load of dim sum and no appetite to eat. The sun is barely starting to set and all I want is to be hugged by my boy. I know I should try and be more positive, I have managed to stay amazingly positive throughout this whole ordeal. I guess it is just starting to sink in that I will be missing a lot of major events in my son's upbringing because of all of this.

I cannot wait to be out of hospital, out of rehab, and home. Home with my son, able to be with him every day again. To raise him and be there for him. Just like I was before. being in a wheelchair might change a few things, but it won't change my love for him or my ability to be there for him.